Samurai Princess (Samurai purinsesu: Gedô-hime) (2009)

A new Samurai is born.
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Samurai Princess (Samurai purinsesu: Gedô-hime) - A New Samuirai is Born

Sticking with what seems to be this month's theme of excessively gory Asian horror movies; the biscuit is awarded to and allowed to be taken away by Samurai Princess (Samurai purinsesu: Gedô-hime). Possibly the goriest Japanese cyberpunk splatterfest to grace my DVD player with more severed body parts than Jeffery Dahmer's dinner parties and more vomit than the bulimic society's annual Christmas feast, writer and director Kengo Kaji (writer of Tokyo Gore Police) pulls out all the stops with regards to human giblets but his direction seems to lack the story fluidity of his previous writing efforts. The story depicts a strange alternate Japan where androids roam free and make art out of humans despite the Shogun's disapproval and a rather negative view from Buddha himself, this simple premise immediately proves that you shouldn't take this movie too seriously and for this reason the masses of blood and guts take on an inoffensive quality rather than conjuring up images to haunt your daymares. Once again the visuals are let down by the occasional tacky and unnecessary CGI effect but this is a personal gripe so I'll say no more on the subject. Aino Kishi is perfectly cast as the Samurai Princess as her cute and endearing looks directly conflict with her actually being an android ninja anus-kicker with removable weapon-boobs and a taste for slaughter.

In an alternate universe, in Japan, during the time of the Samurai, people live in a lawless society together with highly developed mechanical dolls. As is common in such societies, the androids get a bit of a superiority complex and begin to turn against their human companions. The Shogun tries to outlaw androids and the making of them and forms a task force to eradicate the threat. Unfortunately the task force isn't quite up to the job and what is really needed is a vengeful super powerful ninja doll to fight on the side of the humans... but where does someone find a hate filled vengeful person who would be willing to sacrifice their humanity for the greater good?

Meanwhile a deranged pair of android lovers are terrorizing the land with their weaponly enhanced legs and creating gruesome art from the leftovers of their massacres. The unhinged robo-people stumble upon a group of 12 innocent young girls enjoying the countryside and decide that their day would be enhanced by rape and murder. The only survivor of the massacre is Godohimo (Aino Kishi mostly famous for Japanese AV), who is left for dead but rescued by a mad scientist and a nun who rebuild Godohimo from the body parts and souls of her 11 dead friends. With the power of 11 souls, some awesome ninja skills and removable boobies the new half-mecha Godohimo could be just what humanity needs to stop the macabre artists roaming the land.

What follows is Godohimo's revenge interspersed with some awkward and unnecessary love scenes and a number of action sequences more befitting of the live action, badly dubbed Monkey... and as was probably mentioned tons of offal and claret.

Samurai Princess has a fairly clear-cut revenge storyline and although it is basically science fiction in a samurai film setting without any scariness, the abundance of gore definitely makes this an entrant in the extreme category. The direction is often quirky with some rather bizarre sequences which make the feel of the movie seem somewhat slapstick in places which combined with this much gore seems to be a formula that should never work... but it does (well for me anyway). The numerous severed limbs, various internal organs and the fountains of blood create quite a visual overload which would inspire organolepticgasms for both cannibals and Hugh Fearnley-Wittingstall. Cute, scantily clad females delivering a plethora of brutal hack-and-slash and relieving victims of oceans of blood can never fail to entertain and with a storyline that won't challenge the grey-matter, some nicely choreographed ninja-style blood-letting and occasional nudity, Samurai Princess doesn't fail to amuse but is probably more an after pub entertainment than something worth diverting yourself from the pub in the first place.
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Categories: Asian Horror Movies
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