The Machine Girl (Kataude mashin gâru) (2008)

She wont stop, until she's got revenge.
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The Machine Girl - She wont stop, until she's got revenge

The Machine Girl (Kataude mashin gâru) is a Japanese cacophony of action and gore from Noboru Iguchi and if you know that name from Tokyo Gore Police then you pretty much know what to expect... nonsensically named ninjas, malicious married mobsters, gratuitous gore and enough spent metal to repair the Titanic. As seems to be a common thread in Japanese horror, bullying and vengeance are the theme and Ami Hyuga dishes out an overabundance of comic book style metaphoric dishes that are best served cold. Based on the assumption that this movie was intended to be a comedy, there are numerous cartoon-like characters, bountiful blood-letting (only occasionally ruined by low-rate CGI) and kick-ass girls in school uniform making the whole experience a sensory rollercoaster filled with guts and giggles. The gallons of gore retain an inoffensive quality throughout and add to the manga-esque darkly comical undertone making the movie entertaining rather than grim. The story can inspire moral confusion as subjects such as relentless and seemingly un-punishable bullying, cruelty to servants to satisfy the need for "fun-times" and harsh discipline should not be entertaining but this is seemingly easily offset by numb-nut ninjas, punch lines and drill-bras.

Ami Hyuga (Minase Yashiro) looks after her adoring little brother, Yu, since the untimely death of their parents via suicide due to a false accusation of homicide. Ami suspects that her nerdling brother is being bullied but doesn't realize to what extent and that the head bully is the son of Hanzo Hattori worshipping ninja Yakuzas with no respect for the lives of others. When Yu and his best friend Takashi are found splatted at the bottom of a tall building, Ami becomes determined to teach the bullies that pushing nerds off of high structures is not clever, cool or likely to improve their grades, but she soon discovers that ninja Yakuzas are not the easiest people to discipline. After failing to administer a slap across the back of the legs with a meter rule and receiving a good kicking and an arm amputation in the process of trying to dish out the punishment, Ami turns to the equally distraught mechanically competent parents of the now deceased Takashi for some vengeance assistance.

Knowing that vengeance is best achieved with a slew of bullets, chainsaws and an assortment of sharp implements, Ami and her new found partner in potential misconduct, Miki (played by Asami who is probably better known for her roles in 20 Shots Creampie!, Analize 3: Genuine Anal Virgin and Three Sisters Ninja Sex) prepare to unleash a torrent of bloody retribution with an arsenal of weaponry and Ami's newly fashioned machine gun arm attachment. But there is no need to go hunting for the enemy as the enemy comes to them in the form of groups of bumbling ninjas who are no match for Ami's new armtillery toy.

Onwards and upwards for the two kick-ass chicks to the home of the Yakuza's top bully to set up a threesome between the family, shrapnel and a chainsaw but it won't be easy and there will be blood... and guts... and madness... and nerds... and urine!

Don't expect to be blown away with complex twists and turns, supernatural misdeeds or any jump scares but do expect to have fun. Noboru Iguchi presents an action and gore packed exaggerated molestation on the ninja movie genre with guns and gags a blazing. The effects can occasionally be lame but as a person who would prefer to see red-paint splattered mannequin heads over computer generated gore this is my personal opinion and shouldn't let it get in the way of what the director was trying to convey which I fully appreciate. The Machine Girl is outrageous Japanese fun, fun, fun but will probably appeal more to Troma or Manga fans rather than someone looking for a traditional Japanese horror.
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Categories: Asian Horror Movies
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