Teeth (2007)

Every rose has its thorns.
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Teeth - Every rose has its thorns.

Teeth is a very bold and disturbing independent horror movie taking a bizarre darkly humorous look at the subject of abstinence and the "coming of age" movie genre. The movie is far from full on splattification but is unsettling on a number of levels, firstly it is the scumbags that are involved with the naïve and innocent Dawn (the unfortunately afflicted subject of the movie), there is the infrequent yet intensely wince worthy scenes of genital gore, plus the transformation of the pure aforementioned Dawn into the anti-heroine to inspire feminists all over the world. I imagine that this movie is more disturbing to the male population of the planet and if you want to experience the horror of this movie unspoilt then stop reading this now as it will be impossible to write this review without giving away the main focus of this movie.

Dawn O'Keefe is a pure and innocent teenager living in a religious community where the population would rather maintain the ignorance of their children rather than subject to them of the knowledge of the unchristian world in which they live. Dawn is a spokesperson for Christian Abstinence and firmly believes in the righteousness of her principles until one day she meets Tobey and is soon having marriage fantasies. After a swim at the local beauty spot Tobey gets a bit hot under the collar and forces himself upon Dawn. During Dawn's panic something happens "down below" and Tobey soon finds the moment ruined as his over excitement lays flaccid on the floor in front of him. Dawn flees the scene leaving Tobey to think about what he's done... and bleed to death.

Suspecting something is a bit amiss about her tunnel of love, and having never seen another one due to the imposed lack of knowledge about the subject within her community; Dawn rebelliously removes the censored sticker from her biology textbook and discovers that all is not ok between her thighs. Off to the gynaecologist she goes, but it is soon apparent that this practitioner skipped over rule seven of the Hippocratic Oath and noticing the naivety of Dawn decides to indulge in a bit of misconduct. Once again Dawn's self defence mechanism kicks in and the dirty doctor finds himself missing a few digits. Dawn flees again as the doctor watches in terror with only the words "Vagina Dentata" comprehendible amidst his screams.

After the initial horror, Dawn embraces her differences and as her new found promiscuity brings her into contact with more single track minded males more members bite the dust, or more accurately get bitten to dust until she executes the ultimate act of pre-meditated revenge on her evil, dope-head step-brother. Unable to stick around in her hometown anymore she sets of on her trip of destiny to deliver retribution to the unloving and perverted males of the world.

If you've read this far then it's probably obvious that Dawn's mutation is having a set of sharp teeth in her vagina and although this probably seems a bizarre concept for a movie there is actually a lot of mythology around the subject in numerous cultures. Teeth takes this myth and adds a modern day twist on the subject. The dismembered member scenes are very graphic and I defy any male to watch them and not screw up their face in disgust and sympathy for the victims. The story, although quite obvious from the offset, is well constructed and watching the gradual corruption of an cherubic teen due to her genetics makes for a captivating movie in a traditional horror movie way.
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