Horror Extreme Movie Catalog

I decided to revisit H.G. Lewis recently. Not a big deal, actually, although I knew I was in trouble from the start with "Something Weird". Since I've already viewed and reviewed all of his horror films, at least the ones that really matter, I suspected I would find little to like with this decidedly non-horror entry. How could a non-horror film from the Godfather of Gore match up to the sinew-ripping atrocities committed in "Blood Feast," "The Wizard of Gore," and "Gore Gore Girls"? I knew I would never see another tongue pulled out of a woman's mouth, nor would I witness Montag the Magician hypnotizing his audience so he could perform unspeakable acts of gory mayhem on unwitting young ladies. No more faces dipped in a deep fat fryer, no more heads crushed under a car's wheels. Sigh. I really miss the experience of watching an H.G. Lewis gore flick for the first time. I'm hurting over here! Maybe "Something Weird" won't be such a bad experience. Maybe I'll see a film overflowing with excellent performances from a talented batch of actors, lavish set pieces, and top-notch direction, lighting, and editing. What am I saying? This is an H.G. Lewis flick! He doesn't know the first thing about movie making!

"Something Weird" tells the story of an unfortunate wretch named Cronin Mitchell (Tony McCabe). In the opening sequences of the film, we see Mitchell dutifully performing his electrical engineering job as he tries to repair a power line. Tragedy strikes when he receives a jolt of electricity, falls to the ground, and then receives another blast of high voltage to his face from the fallen wire. The movie immediately switches focus at this point to the hospital, where we learn that the accident permanently scarred Cronin's face. On the up side, the electrical discharge gave our hero strong psychic powers. He can read minds and tell the future, traits that come in handy when he starts talking about one of his nurse's private life. Ooops! After Mitchell has a good cry in his hospital room--he isn't happy about his disfigurement, don't you know--he reconciles himself to a life where the best he can hope for is telling people their fortunes for pocket change. It's at this point in the narrative where a nasty looking witch (!) makes Cronin an offer he can't refuse. She promises to restore his face to pre-accident condition in exchange for companionship. Hmmm. Considering the ugliness factor we're dealing with here, it's a tough choice.

Mitchell eventually gives in and strikes the deal. Presto! His face returns to normal, and the witch transforms herself into a strikingly beautiful young lass named Ellen (Elizabeth Lee). It's at this point that the movie starts to become a bit hazy. Cronin tries to bail on his deal with the devil and becomes enmeshed in helping the police hunt down a serial killer. There's also serious nonsense about expunging a ghost from a church. At some point, Ellen/Witch tracks down Mitchell and tries to remind him of their deal. Matters become complicated, however, when one of the cops working with Cronin falls in love with the comely Ellen. Hilarity ensues. Not really, but the movie does treat us to a chase scene that seems to last forever. Remember the foot chase at the end of "Blood Feast," the one that saw Fuad Ramses receive his just rewards in the garbage truck? This chase is sort of like that, except longer and less fruitful. We also see the horrific effects caused by a killer blanket, and a scene in which Mitchell imbibes a significant dose of acid in order to increase his psychic powers. The end.

"Something Weird" definitely lives up to its name. LSD, ESP, a witch, and a hunt for a serial killer all combine to make a movie that is supremely inept. The acting tanks. Witness Cronin crying into the mirror at the hospital for proof of this assertion. That's the lamest crying I've seen since...well...since that kid cried on the beach in "Blood Feast". Then there's the over the top histrionics from the lady that plays the witch. She must have watched "The Wizard of Oz" for inspiration and then ran with it. The ham fisted editing and lazy lighting just enhance the general awfulness of the proceedings. I did see a couple of things I liked. One, the pair of lips painted on one of the witch's knees. What in the heck did that mean? It's never explained, but it's a nice touch in an otherwise dreary picture. Two, I had to laugh over the haircuts we see in the movie. Most of the male authority figures look like they're wearing black, molded plastic helmets. The movie achieves this inadvertent effect partly through lousy lighting and partly through lousy film stock. It's hilarious anyway, and it makes the movie look like one of those old educational films from the 1950s.

As one would expect, the Something Weird release of "Something Weird" (the company named itself after this very film) has something for everyone. The commentary track is pure gold. H.G. Lewis talks for a few minutes and then turns the floor over to company founder Mike Vraney, who then proceeds to talk about the genesis of his movie empire! It's so comprehensive, informative, and just downright fascinating that we never miss listening to Lewis talk about the film. Too, we get the usual collection of several short features. On this disc and with this movie, that means LSD themed, psychedelic madness in the form of bizarre fare entitled, "Psyched-Out Singalong with the 4-D Witch!" Uh huh. The 1960s must have been something to behold. Ultimately, I had a lot of fun watching this disaster. It turns out that I didn't even miss the gore!

Although it has been noted by other reviewers, I just wanted to note how unusual the commentary track is on this disc. For the first 10 minutes, you get a pretty standard HGL play by play. Then, he leaves and the founder of Something Weird Video sits around with David Freidman and a few other (hard to hear) people and discusses the history of the company. They finish their story early, however, so for the last half hour or so, it is all filler! You would think this would be terrible, but in truth it is pretty entertaining. The SW guy actually makes a point to say that the commentaries are usually much more professional than this--right before he gets a phone call from his wife! As far as the movie goes, no nudity, not much violence to speak of, and only really notable for a scene where a man is attacked by his bedsheets. That's pretty brilliant, but the rest is dull. Think of the exposition scenes in Blood Feast, if you need an example...