Horror Extreme Movie Catalog

Okay. If you're a hardcore horror enthusiast, I know you're already considering clicking that little "not helpful" button down there. That's fine. I'm not writing this for you. This review is for people who kinda like horror, and who have been told by their hardcore horror enthusiast friends, "You have got to watch HELLRAISER. It's a classic."

Movies are classics for a couple of reasons. Either they are timelessly good or they set the standard for the time with innovative directing, writing, or (usually) special effects. But let's be clear: just because something leaves its mark on cinematic history doesn't make it worthy of five stars. After all, the Model T was an historical creation, but compared to cars of today, it sucked.

HELLRAISER set the bar for horror movies of its day (1987) with some truly disturbing imagery and groundbreaking special effects. A guy named Frank purchases a puzzle box that opens the gate to a universe populated by grotesque creatures known as Cenobites (I know; it sounds like the name of astronaut candy). The Cenobites are agents of "indivisible pain and pleasure," which translates into "killing people with chains and hooks." Why someone would create such a box, let alone buy and open it, remains the greatest mystery of the movie, perhaps to be solved by one of its many sequels.

Frank is obliterated by the Cenobites in one of the most confusing openers to a movie I've ever seen. Shortly thereafter, his half-brother Larry (newly remarried to a mannish woman named Julia who also, coincidentally, had an affair with Frank) moves into the house and accidentally bleeds on the floor of the attic. Larry's blood somehow transdimensionally nourishes Frank's tortured soul back into corporeal existence. But not all the way. So he must convince the still-whipped Julia to troll for horny men to bring back to the attic so that their lifeforce might fully rejuvenate Frank's icky-sticky bloody body.

Frank's original return from the Cenobitic universe makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but it is a well-done and supremely squeamish scene. There are a few other moments that turn the stomach (Frank's final scene foremost among them), but they don't make much sense in the grand scheme of things. In fact, the story line exists as a shadow of the gore, a nuisance to be endured so that Barker might treat you to more scenes of sadomasochistic torture.

The acting in this movie is unaccountably bad, and the Cenobites' powers are murky at best. I learned after watching the film that it had been edited from the theatrical version, which might explain the disjointed plot and the several scenes that appear to have nothing to do with the movie. I'm not sure if there's an uncut version out there anywhere, but this version WILL leave you doing a lot of scalp-scratching.

Classic? Not exactly. I give it props for ambition and for being (in '87) something no one had ever seen before. I respect the place HELLRAISER holds in the pantheon of horror, but respect doesn't always mean admiration. If you're one of those hardcore horror fans, I get where you're coming from, but I also don't believe you need reviews like this to tell you if a movie is any good. However, if you're a passing enthusiast who's wondering if the hype is true, if you're interested in something creative, scary, clever, and cool, be aware that this movie is only really one of those things, and not in any great amount.

*NOTE - This review is based off of the DVD and not the movie.

The Film itself needs no review. Its a classic. Done.

The DVD on the other hand, if you already have a copy of the original release of Hellraiser - there is really nothing different than three interviews on the featurettes. There are however two copies of the script on the DVD-Rom, but other than that - there is nothing different than the previous Hellraiser DVD release. They even just threw in the same interviews from the last release!

So great movie, but if you already have a copy of hellraiser - no need to rush out and get this one. You're not missing anything too new.