Horror Extreme Movie Catalog

In customer reviews there is excessive use of hyperbole and exaggeration when reviewing films. Way, way too many times the phrase "Worst Film Ever" or "worst film I have ever seen" is casually and capriciously used, even though the latter claim is most likely inaccurate and the first one almost certainly is inaccurate.

However, this film may well merit some of the more scathing aspersions. I have seen hundreds of movies - perhaps more than a thousand - in my lifetime. It's hard to remember ALL the details of EVERY film I have seen, although the more notable ones still stand out in memory. I don't know if this is the all-time worst movie I have ever seen, but there is a good chance that it might be. I don't know if this is the worst film ever made (others will disagree), though I think there is a solid argument that can be made for its candidacy.

Although this is the point in my reviews where I usually give a brief summary of the plot, there really isn't much of a plot or storyline to describe. I am well aware that this was supposed to be a self-parodying genre (making fun of bad girls in prison retro-exploitation) satire, which was one of the main reasons I rented it (the other reason was seeing nude women). I also knew this was a schlocky b-movie that was supposed to be bad on purpose (one of those "so bad it's funny" kinds of films). I seen rented plenty of Seduction Cinema films for these two reasons (mostly the nude women). I was also looking forward to seeing Rhonda Shear again, a humorous beauty from my younger days of watching the USA Network's "Up All Night" program. Taking all this into mind, and reducing expectations accordingly, I watched the movie... or tried to anyways. This movie is so utterly awful, that even fast forwarding wasn't enough. It was just atrocious. Not in the "so bad it's funny" way, but in a "so bad now I'm really irritated that I wasted my time and money and dignity on such a terrible movie" way. The producers and director may have thought themselves campy and clever, but they are delusional and disingenuous. It was the most miserable excuse of a film that I can remember, largely due to the obvious lack of effort.

I knew the acting and writing and directing would be bad - but I didn't think it would be this irritatingly bad. Subjective perspectives aside, the film was sloppy and lazy and UNFUNNY and seemed to have so little effort put into it, that the people who made it and released it really ought to be embarrassed and indeed ashamed of themselves. Having helped to produce several no budget indie films with part-time cast and crew, I have learned to appreciate the efforts of films that may not be as good, and to try and be less harsh in my observations. I can respect a poorly made film that I don't like, if there was a lot of effort and not much in the way of budget. This movie had no redeeming qualities at all - even the one ultimate redeeming aspect (nude women) was so poorly underdone that it wasn't worth watching (they also decided that a number of male actors should be included in the ubiquitous shower scenes). In other words, the single-helix imbeciles who carelessly threw together this slapdash pile of crap managed to take a solid (if trashy) genre icon with a dedicated fan base and low expectations, and make it utterly unwatchable.

Although I have written a few unflattering reviews, I have for the most part avoided excessive hyperbole in my comments. This sorry excuse for a film is so annoying that it did provoke some degree of ire. Although I do realize that it's just a movie (barely), and that there is not a need to get wrapped up in something as trivial as this, it does earn the recognition of its sloppiness and laziness. There are no acceptable excuses for how bad this film is.

Having read the other reviews, I cant understand why anyone would'nt like this movie. Well, accepting the fact that they arent a perv looking for porn, or some over the line goody goody, with an underdeveloped sense of humor to start with. GIVE ME A FREAKIN BREAK WILL YA! consider what this is MEANT to be. Its NOT porn! So if you looking for lesbian shower scenes to fill your otherwise worthless and lame existance, do us all a favor and just get it on pay per view and leave the grown ups who have a life to enjoy funny stuff like this. Like wise you church going nerds. Why would you buy this, watch it once and destroy it...for crying out loud, what kind of MORON does this? Go drink some coolaid will ya? stop wasting our oxygen.
Look, bottom line - If you have ever ONCE watched an episode of MST3K, or enjoyed any film that lampoons something, trust me, this DVD is worth a watch. ANY serious collector simply must have this for thier collection, as it makes great late night party viewing. Rhonda Shear is GREAT in it, and although we dont get to "see as much of her" as I would have liked - (frankly the outfit she wears in the closing scene in the clothing store is the BEST she sports all movie) c'mon, its RHONDA SHEAR! -she even spoofs her "up all night" line at one point in this thing, its great. Its just alot of all around fun, with food fights, NINJAS, mudwrestling, a mad doctor, zombies, a killer anaconda, and some goofy rock band that winds up playing in the chow hall. Frankly, if I have anything to complain about it would be the rap song that runs during the credits at the end. Could have done without that, thanx. In any event, dont take this certainly cool, and entertaining flick tooooo seriously, its just meant to be a goof. AND IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For less than 20 bucks your buying yourself a little fun. What does that kind of money buy you these days, like 3 gallons of gas? or a really cheap pair of headphones? You know you drop more than that in drive thru in a week. And this wont make you fat!

Besides, who buys ANYTHING based on random anonymous reviews written by people with nothing better to do at 1:30 am on a thursday night. :) Oh, wait, the kind of zipperheads looking for soft core lesbian scenes, and no nothing religious weirdos...nevermind.